I have a confession to make. I’ve never read Harry Potter. Nor have I read/watched The Fault In Our Stars, The Hunger Games, or any number of other popular books/movies. I was almost scared when I stepped into the cinema to watch Avengers: Infinity War just in case I didn’t like it. These books and movies are huge. They have huge fandoms. They’ve inspired so many people to create their own amazing things. They connect people all over the world. I have never read these books, and there are movies I haven’t watched, because I’m afraid that I won’t actually like them. It’s not an entirely baseless fear either. I’ve read bestselling books and seen blockbuster movies that everyone else has raved over and I couldn’t see what the fuss was about. I remember sitting in the cinema watching one of the more recent Marvel movies (not Infinity War), and wondering what was wrong with me. Why did it leave me feeling cold inside when so many other people loved it? What was I missing?
There’s almost a pressure to like these popular things. The Harry Potter series were a huge part of many people’s childhoods. When I say I haven’t read them, I receive an almost incredulous look as if ‘how can you not have read them? They’re amazing! What’s wrong with you?’ But it’s nothing wrong with me. My taste is just fine, and so are the Harry Potter books (I assume, never having read them). I’m not always going to like the same things other people do. It’s not the fault of these books and movies either. They are what they are. Most of them really are very good. They’re just not for me. It’s actually natural that we’re not always going to like every book or movie put out into the world. And that’s ok. It would be a very dull world if only one type of story ever got told, or one kind of movie ever got made.
We feel pressured to like these popular things, I think, because we want to connect. We want to be part of something. We want to love this thing that everyone else is raving over. We want to be part of the in-crowd, part of the conversation. It can be lonely being the only person who hasn’t read a certain book, or who didn’t love a certain movie, but even worse than that is being the only person who didn’t like that book or movie. People are more willing to accept it if you haven’t read or watched something, but if you didn’t like it, it’s so much harder to be part of the conversation. Some people seem to feel almost attacked if you didn’t like something they loved.
Sometimes, the pressure of the very fact that this book or movie is so popular is enough to make you not love it. When I walked into Infinity War, I was almost scared to watch the movie, because everyone hyped it up so much. The expectations were astronomical. For me, Infinity War did stand up to the hype. But many other books and movies can’t, and so we don’t automatically love them. It’s not even that there’s anything wrong with them. But our expectations were pushed so high by people raving over them, or by the almost cult reputations they gathered, and nothing can measure up to that.
Watching or reading without the pressure of these expectations is a vastly different experience. I read Marissa Meyer’s Lunar Chronicles before I realised they were super popular. I was able to judge them for themselves, to come into it hoping for the series to be good, but without unrealistic expectations. The fault isn’t really with us, or with the book or movie in question. It’s just that, as a good story gains traction, and more and more people talk about it, expectations become inflated, to the point where even the best book or movie can’t stand up to it. and if it’s not even your type of story in the first place, then the problem is compounded. You feel obliged to like it so you’re not isolated from the rest of the world who loved it, but you can’t.
The truth is, we’re never going to like every piece of media we consume. There will be books and movies that reach this cult status that you won’t like, as well as many that you do. It’s ok if you haven’t read something because it’s not your type of thing, and it’s also ok if you read it and didn’t like it. It’s ok to love things. And it’s ok not to either. Popular books and movies are always going to come with these huge reputations. I think in order to be able to really enjoy them, we have to accept firstly that it’s ok if we don’t like them. That’s alright. And secondly, we need to be able to separate the book or movie from its inflated reputation. in. That doesn’t mean we can’t be excited to watch or read something, or that we can’t expect it’s going to be good. But we also shouldn’t expect perfection. You may love the book or move. You might not. Either is ok. There are so many stories out there you will love. You don’t have to love all of them.
Have you ever not read a book or watched a movie because you didn’t want to not like it? Have you ever read a book or watched a movie everyone else loved but you didn’t? What was it? (No judgement here!) Do you ever feel that you HAVE to like something just because it’s popular? Let’s chat!
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