How Do You Deal With Other’s Opinons?

One of the best and also most nerve-wracking parts about being a writer, in my opinion, is hearing what other people have to say about your book, whether it’s critique partners trying to help you improve and strengthen your story, or people reviewing the finished product. If you’re publishing a book, then you obviously want to share this amazing story you’ve worked on so hard. You want other people to read it and become invested in it, and love it as much as you do. You want them to be so excited that they go out and tell everyone they know about your book and make all their friends read it. But having other people read your book is also the most nerve-wracking because, as much as we want them to love our books, what if they just…don’t?

This week I’ve been sending out review copies of my upcoming YA fantasy, ‘The Crystal Tree’, and I have to admit, as well as being super excited to be finally putting my book into people’s hands, I am also absolutely terrified. The people who have offered to review my book are so kind and wonderful. I want them to love the book and write nice things about it. But what if it doesn’t touch them? What if they don’t enjoy it? What if people think my story is dumb and my characters are unlikable and that my book is stupid? I one hundred percent believe in my book and the quality of it. Right up until the point where I need to put it into the hands of another people.

Honestly, it’s the same as when I’ve given my book to beta readers. I want their honest opinions. And in the case of beta readers, I know that I’m going to be getting comments about things I’ve done badly. That’s the whole point of giving it to betas in the first place. But I’m still terrified of negative comments and of people telling me that my book isn’t perfect.

That’s the real struggle of being a writer and putting your work out there. There’s always a very real possibility that people won’t like what you’ve written. beta readers and critique partners are going to tell you about things that aren’t working. That’s their job. And maybe people will write negative reviews of the finished  book. And I think that too is part of being a writer. We’re always told not to read our reviews, that it’ll only drive us crazy or demotivate us when we see the negative ones. We’re also told to take a step back from the comments editors and betas give us, because they’re going to hurt, even though we need to hear it.

This is something I’ve struggled with before with my betas. And to be very fair, my betas have been amazing and kind ans super helpful, and the experience, in the end, wasn’t nearly as terrible as I thought it might be. But when it comes to reviews, I don’t know how prepared I am for this part of being a writer. I suspect that I won’t know until I get my first reviews. Of course, I am going to share and save and store all the lovely ones to remind myself that I can do this thing. But negative reviews, like negative comments, are LOUD. Just like writers only ever see their own flaws, so too do we only hear the negative things said about our books.

But, if there is one thing I want to believe about negative reviews, it’s that they too are a sign of good things, even if what they’re saying is not so great. If someone feels they can write a negative review about your book, it means that they’re outside your immediate circle. They don’t feel they just have to say nice things. Your book is out there. Negative reviews mean that your book is reaching people you probably don’t even know. It means that you’re affecting people in some way, enough that they feel they should write something, nice or not. If someone who feels they can freely write a negative review of your book has read it, then there’s every chance it’s also found its way into the hands of strangers who will love it.

I don’t know whether this mindset is going to be practically helpful for when I get my first reviews. But I want to believe that negative reviews, like comments from betas and critique partners, are a necessary part of this job, and that they’re not entirely bad, not matter how much of a punch in the gut it feels. I don’t know that I have any strategies for dealing with this yet, aside form trying to step back and not read reviews obsessively. I don’t have any answers yet. These are just some of the things I’ve been thinking about this week. It’s super scary preparing to put my book out into the wider world where I can’t choose who reads it, and of course, sending it out to be read and reviewed. But at the same time it’s so exciting. I can’t wait to see what people say. Good or bad, it’s part of being a writer, and I will always be grateful for anyone who cares enough to read my book in the first place.

Speaking of people reading my book, I’m still taking on new reviewers for ‘The Crystal Tree’, so if you’re interested in getting your hands on a copy of my book before it gets relleased into the wild on August 1st in exchange for an honest review, I would love to give you one. All the details are in THIS blog post, including the signup form. Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to write a review by August 1st!

And if you want to read ‘The Crystal Tree’ at some point, but in your own time and not as a reviewer, I’m so, so happy to announce that ‘The Crystal Tree’ is now up on Goodreads. If you use Goodreads at all, then you should add my book to your bookshelves and recommend it to all your friends, because they need to read it too! You can find it right HERE.

But I’d love to hear from you. Have you ever received negative reviews? How did you deal with them? If not, what’s your plan for receiving them in the future? Do you struggle with receiving feedback from betas and critique partners? How do you deal with that? Are you afraid of hearing what people say about your books, or is it an exciting prospect to you? Have you added ‘The Crystal Tree’ on Goodreads yet? (You should!) Let’s chat in the comments down below!

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