My writing year is always mapped out by Camp NaNoWriMo in April and June, and then NaNoWriMo proper in November. I love the adrenaline rush of chasing a challenging goal, hanging out with my writing friends, blasting through page after page of writing, watching the little line on my graph shoot way above where it needs to be. It’s a challenge, it’s satisfying, and it’s super motivating. I write so much more during these months than I do at any other time. It’s no wonder really that I keep coming back year after year, chasing this writing high.
This April though, has been a bit different. It’s honestly been one of my most difficult Camp NaNoWriMos to date. Social isolation restrictions, being unemployed, and all the stress that comes along with the current situation made this an exceedingly difficult month for writing. A lot of my writing friends say the same thing. It’s hard to create when you’re always tired and stressed. In the end, I did hit my goals. I did meet my deadline. I did finish the book I was working on. It’s currently off to be proofread, and I am so proud of myself for everything I achieved this month. But at the same time, now that April is over, I feel drained.
My stubborn brain wants me to believe that to be a real writer, I need to move on to the next project immediately. May the 1st should mean I get the next book going, start working on another round of edits, or plot a new story. My brain wants me to believe that a day where I don’t write is a day I’ve wasted. Time I’ll never get back. It’s a real struggle not to listen to what my brain is saying sometimes. If I’m not writing, I’m anxious about whether I’ve done enough, even though I just hit my deadline. It’s such a temptation to dive straight into the next project. But I’m not doing that. Instead, I’m taking a few days off from writing and using the time to rest and reset my creative process.
For me, creating during Camp NaNoWriMo is different from any other time of year. When I write during Camp NaNo, I fully immerse myself in the project. I will chase that daily total from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed.No matter what my goal is, I will subconsciously plot to exceed it. It’s part of what makes the month such an adrenaline rush. But it’s not exactly a sustainable way to write. I can’t move on into May and expect to write the same way. If nothing else, I have to revitalise my blog, dust off my Instagram account, and most of all, I have to recharge my creativity. I already feel slightly burnt out. I gave every scrap of energy and attention I had to my last book, and I’m tired. I don’t have any words left. Which leaves me stuck between believing I should be working on the next book already, and knowing that if I do, then I’m going to struggle even more.
So I’m stopping for a few days. I’m resetting my creative process. I’m making sure I take time to read, and create in other ways, such as knitting. I’m going for walks. I’m allowing myself to think about blog posts and Instagram pictures and things that aren’t the eternal rounds of edits that await me. I’m slowing down and finding my usual, more sustainable rhythm again. Sometimes I forget that even though discipline and consistency is a good thing, and goodness knows I’ve worked so hard to find my rhythm in my work, it’s ok to take a day or two to rest every now and then. I could play a game instead of writing. Read a book instead of write one. Go outside once in a while and see the sun. Cuddle my dogs. Do absolutely nothing if I want to.
It’s just nice to sit and do something different. To know I don’t have to edit a certain amount of pages today. To know that if I don’t open my manuscript today, that’s ok. Of course, I’m going to want to go back to my usual routine pretty quickly. Life isn’t the same without writing. But I think that taking this time away is not only going to make me feel better, more rested and more inspired, but it’s also going to make me appreciate my usual rhythm more. By the time next week comes, I’ll be raring to go again, excited to dive into a new project. And I’m really looking forward to that. But for the moment, I’m enjoying taking life a little slower, doing a little less, and taking a little more time for myself. It’s not time to write yet. It’s time to rest, relax, and recharge after my frantic month, and hopefully come back all the stronger for a little time off.
Photo by Julian Hochgesang on Unsplash
