Like a lot of writers, while I eat, breathe and sleep words, and I’m never happier than when I’m deeply engrossed in crafting a brand new story, I also hold down a day job as a waitress. It’s been really good work for me, getting me out of the house and around people, building up my confidence, giving me fairly flexible working hours, and of course, giving me the money I need to carry on with my writing aspirations. The two jobs are very different, but the longer I’ve been a waitress for, the more I’ve learned about being a writer as well. So today I thought I would share with you three things that being a waitress has taught me about being a writer.
You’re More Skilled Than You Think
I am a good waitress. I’m able to pick new things up quickly, I’m good at communicating, I can step up to responsibility, I’m excellent at deal with customers, and I’m very calm and collected under pressure. But on a day to day basis, it can be difficult to remember that I’m actually quite experienced and skilled. Judging myself by other coworkers, especially ones who have been working at the cafe longer than me, it can be easy to think of myself as an average worker at best. It’s not until I’m training new staff members that I realise just how many skills I have, and how good I actually am at my job.
It’s the same in writing. Day to day, it can be difficult to tell if you’re improving, or how good you really are. Looking at other people’s writing, it can feel like you’ve got a really long way to go, or like you’re just average with words, even though you’re really learning and improving all the time. It can be easy to put yourself down. But when you compare yourself to writers just starting out, it puts into perspective just how far you have actually come. We’re more skilled than we think we are, and we should trust ourselves more and have more confidence in our own abilities, because we are often the worst judges of our own abilities.
Mood Doesn’t Matter
When it comes to my job as a waitress, it doesn’t matter what sort of mood I’m in, I’m going to show up for my shift, and I’m going to do the best job I possibly can. I can be having the worst day ever, but customers won’t know, because part of my job is presenting a smile and a positive attitude along with their coffee. My mood, or the amount of sleep I’ve had simply isn’t allowed to affect my work. If I didn’t show up because I decided I didn’t feel like it, I wouldn’t get paid, and I might not have a job afterwards. It’s as simple as that.
As a writer, it can be very easy to tell myself that I’m not in the right mood to be able to write. That I can’t create today. That I haven’t slept enough to be able to give my book the focus it deserves. I tend to use my moods and my tiredness as an excuse to let myself be lazy. However, writing is much like any other sort of work. You have to show up and keep showing up, regardless of your mood, how much sleep you’ve had, or whether you’re having a good day if you want to get anywhere. Writing is my job. And just like any other job, I have to show up for it every day.
You Can’t Control Everything
If there’s one thing cafe life has taught me, it’s that you can’t control what’s going to happen in a day. There’s always going to be a rush of customers that takes you by surprise when you’re understaffed, or four deliveries showing up in the middle of lunch. No matter how much I fret and worry, I can’t make the kitchen produce meals any faster, or split myself into three so that I can cover all the jobs that need doing at once. While you have to do the best you can, there’s no way you can control everything happening around you. The only things you can control are yourself, and your response to the situations happening around you.
In writing, I can’t always control the interruptions to my writing day. I can’t always control how good I feel. I certainly can’t control where the trends in publishing are going, or what people think when they read my books. There are so many things that are outside of my control as a writer. What I can control though, is myself. I can control whether I show up to write today or not. I can control my discipline, my patience, my willingness to work on something until it’s as good as I can make it. I can control whether I check obsessively for reviews. The only thing under my control is me, and that’s ok.
Writing is obviously my first love, but I’ve learned a surprising amount of useful skills through my job as a waitress which are very helpful in my creative life as well. My day job has taught me to be more organised, more consistent, to make less excuses, and to believe in myself more. And while I’m probably always going to worry about the things outside of my control, I can at least acknowledge that they’re not something I can influence, and turn my attention back to the things that I can do. In a way, working as a waitress has made me a better writer, stronger and more confident, and better able to put in the hard work that this job really needs.
Also, quick reminder: My new book Frost Hands comes out in exactly one week! Check it out on Goodreads right now, or you can even preorder yourself a Kindle copy. Frost Hands releases September 30th
Photo by fotografierende on Unsplash
