If I was to describe my working habits, I would call them sporadic. Being generous. Sometimes I’m incredibly focused and productive, and sometimes I’m blobbing in my chair pretending to work while I’m actually just scrolling up and down the page while at the same time sneaking on to Twitter on my phone. What I’m trying to say is, you wouldn’t classify me as a workaholic. And yet I really struggle with allowing myself to take time off from writing. Even taking a day to rest feels wrong. Oh, I can waste time at my desk all day, pretending to work, but heaven forbid that I actually plan to take a day or two off.
Even though I know it’s alright, and even good for me to rest, to take time off over Christmas, or Easter, or just during a family holiday, I still have that niggling thought at the back of my mind that tells me I’m wasting valuable time and I should be writing, that I should have the discipline to keep my butt in that chair and get out another scene instead of sitting around resting. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the Christmas holidays, or I’m away on vacation, or even if I’ve just finished NaNoWriMo and I’m thoroughly exhausted, I still feel bad for taking time to rest.
I know other people struggle with this too. I know people on Twitter who talk about how they’re supposed to be taking a break after a grueling round of edits, only to find that they can’t switch off. I know of people who were writing on Christmas Day because they felt they needed to get those words in somewhere. I know of people who stay up to two or even three in the morning because they feel they have to get those words written instead of letting themselves sleep. And it makes me wonder, why is it that we as writers just can’t let ourselves rest?
I’m not sure that I have an answer for this, to be honest, though I’ve been thinking about it a lot recently. Could it be because writing time is so precious throughout the rest of the year? As writers, a lot of us are pinching odd moments and fragments of the day to fit writing in. Even with my schedule, which is a lot more open for writing than many people’s, writing time is precious and to be treasure. So maybe this is partly because, when I have this open space for resting, I’m actually so used to saving those moment for writing that it feels wrong to do nothing ‘productive’ with them?
Maybe too, part of the reason is because writing isn’t constrained to certain days and times. 9-5 jobs have a definite end and beginning. You start work. You end work. You have days off. It’s regular and rhythmical. You know where you stand with that. Writing on the other hand, can happen anywhere and everywhere. You can write at midnight, or in the corner at a party. You can write on public holidays and in bed. There’s rarely a point at which you couldn’t be writing. And when writing is so adaptable and so constant, how do you switch off?
Another things is that picking up the habit of writing can be such a struggle, especially if, like me, you attempt to write every day during your work periods. Managing to keep that habit is a constant struggle for me. Taking time off is like breaking the chain. If I stop, how do I get started again? If I take a day or two to myself, that habit could completely disappear and then I will have to start from scratch again? So maybe part of the problem comes from my subconsciously pressuring myself to uphold this habit, no matter what
Whatever the reason is, and if you have any thoughts on this then I would love to hear them, one thing is for certain. We are writers. We are for creativity and for imagination. We weren’t made to push ourselves like machines, never taking a day off, never allowing ourselves to rest. Yes, sometimes we do need to push ourselves and make the sacrifice for the sake of writing, but equally, the sacrifice can’t be all there is. You can’t keep taking and taking and taking, pouring all your energy out without stopping to rest and put something back into yourself. Just because we’re not actively putting words onto the page, and I say this as a reminder to myself as well, doesn’t mean that we’re not investing in our writing. It just means that typing takes a backseat while we rest and prepare ourselves to do even better work.
It’s so difficult to turn off the part of myself that believes that I should be writing all the time (even if I may not always be the most productive of writers), but at the same time, that is an incredibly important part of writing too. We’re writers. We were made to create. and we can’t create from an empty well. Taking time to stop and recharge, to be with the people around us, and allowing ourselves to take a break for a while, can sometimes be just as important as sitting at our desks, writing those words. We’re writers, and sometimes, we are allowed to rest.
But I’d love to know your thoughts. Do you ever struggle with taking a break from writing, either after you’ve finished a round of edits, or over holiday periods? Why do you think it’s so hard to take time off sometimes? I’d love to hear your thoughts down in the comments below!
